Science Section!!

This creation story of life was inspired by the below article in which you'll read that scientists have discovered amino acids, the building blocks of DNA and ergo life, on meteors that arrive from space suggesting that life can develop in space and suggests that life probably arrived from space and evolved from there on our Earth...

http://www.space.com/10498-life-building-blocks-surprising-meteorite.html

In light of this article I have decided there is in fact a god, a huge, organic/rock blend of a god who has in fact seeded the universe with his life giving schmegma bullets (meteors) into the Vagina (Universe) which have then penetrated the eggs surface (atomosphere) to fertalize the earth (egg).

This makes only too much sense if you don't read into it and are easily convinced. For example this process mimics our own way of reproduction like it is said in the bible, man was created in his image! And like man god didn't think of the consequences of his actions, found out he started life by accident after the universe took a pregnancy test a few billion years later and it was too late to abort life on earth cause man had already came out and that's like the third trimester of life when other conservative Gods say that 'consciousness has formed" or some bull shit....

It also adds a whole new meaning to the term The Big Bang....

So anyway the universe refused to get an abortion and that's why the old testament God was so spiteful and such an asshole, we could never live up to his high expectations and he reminded us by drowning us in huge floods, burning our city of sodomy so we didn't turn out 'gay', punishing his most loyal followers to prove a point....

Then as we get older he reflects and sees that he might as well give us another go, we might not all be useless and tries life out in our own shoes (Jesus)... Not really his 'son' he gives him some super powers but nothing really worth while and gives us another go... which we fuck up at which point he abandons Jesus on the cross says fuck it I don't want to be around when they discover there's no afterlife and has abandoned us ever since leaving our mother universe to neglect us while he skanks himself around some other expanse of space and time...

Phew.. Anyway its a theory, just look forward to the child support check, maybe it'll cover global warming...

UwishUwereLish wrote:This creation story of life was inspired by the below article in which you'll read that scientists have discovered amino acids, the building blocks of DNA and ergo life, on meteors that arrive from space suggesting that life can develop in space and suggests that life probably arrived from space and evolved from there on our Earth...

http://www.space.com/10498-life-building-blocks-surprising-meteorite.html

In light of this article I have decided there is in fact a god, a huge, organic/rock blend of a god who has in fact seeded the universe with his life giving schmegma bullets (meteors) into the Vagina (Universe) which have then penetrated the eggs surface (atomosphere) to fertalize the earth (egg).

This makes only too much sense if you don't read into it and are easily convinced. For example this process mimics our own way of reproduction like it is said in the bible, man was created in his image! And like man god didn't think of the consequences of his actions, found out he started life by accident after the universe took a pregnancy test a few billion years later and it was too late to abort life on earth cause man had already came out and that's like the third trimester of life when other conservative Gods say that 'consciousness has formed" or some bull shit....

It also adds a whole new meaning to the term The Big Bang....

So anyway the universe refused to get an abortion and that's why the old testament God was so spiteful and such an asshole, we could never live up to his high expectations and he reminded us by drowning us in huge floods, burning our city of sodomy so we didn't turn out 'gay', punishing his most loyal followers to prove a point....

Then as we get older he reflects and sees that he might as well give us another go, we might not all be useless and tries life out in our own shoes (Jesus)... Not really his 'son' he gives him some super powers but nothing really worth while and gives us another go... which we fuck up at which point he abandons Jesus on the cross says fuck it I don't want to be around when they discover there's no afterlife and has abandoned us ever since leaving our mother universe to neglect us while he skanks himself around some other expanse of space and time...

Phew.. Anyway its a theory, just look forward to the child support check, maybe it'll cover global warming...

Haha this post rules. It's kind of like my theory that God is actually a 10 year old in the god realm and we're his shitty science experiment. In my head, he looks like a young Donkey Lips.

DeLaNoche wrote:

Haha this post rules. It's kind of like my theory that God is actually a 10 year old in the god realm and we're his shitty science experiment. In my head, he looks like a young Donkey Lips.

HaHa I like it.

Naw, I decided to convert to Patafarianism after reading this article. This article is also the reason I'm moving to Austria

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/07/15/138162835/austrian-pastafarian-picture-was-a-win-for-freedom-from-religion

Favorite line: "And people who discriminate against Pastafarians will be labelled antipasti?"

UwishUwereLish wrote:Favorite line: "And people who discriminate against Pastafarians will be labelled antipasti?"

Haha that's great. I remember hearing about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster when I was in high school because some kid had a t-shirt of it. Sooo funny to wear to a Texas high school.